How Stress Keeps You Going—Until It Doesn’t

Have you ever noticed that after a long stretch of stress—maybe you’ve been working hard, juggling life’s demands, barely keeping up—you finally get a break, a weekend away, or that long-awaited holiday… and then, just as you start to unwind, you come down with a cold or start feeling run-down?
Or maybe you know someone who always looks tired—burned out even—yet they swear they never get sick. Strange, right?
So, what’s really going on?

Most of us think it’s the bacteria or the virus that makes us feel sick. And while that’s partly true, it’s not the full story. Most of the symptoms we experience—like fever, fatigue, or a sore throat—aren’t actually caused by the pathogens themselves. They’re caused by our immune system’s response to those pathogens. Your body fights back, and the symptoms are part of that battle.

So Where Does Stress Come In?
It’s important to understand that when your body experiences stress, it reacts as if you’re in immediate danger. It activates the fight-or-flight response: cortisol surges, your blood pressure rises, your heart beats faster, and blood is redirected to your muscles to help you escape the perceived threat.
Here’s the thing: your body can’t tell the difference between real, life-threatening danger—like being chased by a tiger—and modern-day stress, like opening a mortgage statement or facing work deadlines. The biological response is exactly the same.

When you’re stressed, your body deprioritizes anything that isn’t essential for immediate survival. That includes your immune system. Your body isn’t concerned about fighting off a cold when it thinks you need to escape a tiger. The same goes for digestion, rest, and cellular repair—these functions get pushed to the back burner.
This also applies to reproduction. When your body is in survival mode, fertility and sexual health aren’t considered urgent. No wonder so many couples today struggle with fertility—chronic stress can signal to the body that now isn’t a safe time to conceive.

Now imagine living like this for weeks, months, or even years. Your body stays stuck in fight-or-flight mode, leaving your immune system underpowered and your repair systems on pause. Eventually, when the stress eases, your immune system wakes back up—and that’s often when you start to feel sick or run down.
 

Stress and Hormones
Stress doesn’t just impact your immune system. In my practice, I see chronic stress as one of the key drivers behind many of the symptoms women struggle with—especially during perimenopause.
Take night sweats, for example. Some women breeze through perimenopause with minimal symptoms, while others suffer with intense night sweats, disrupted sleep, and deep fatigue. Why the difference?

A big part of the answer is stress.

When you’ve been under chronic stress for a long time, your adrenal glands—which also help produce stress and sex hormones—are under constant pressure. During perimenopause, as your oestrogen levels naturally decline, your body relies more heavily on the adrenals to help compensate.
But if your adrenals are already depleted from years of stress, they can’t pick up the slack. This hormone imbalance, combined with a sensitive nervous system, can trigger night sweats, sleep disturbances, and exhaustion.
So no—it’s not just about “low oestrogen.” It’s also about how well your body has been coping with stress, and whether you still have the resilience to handle hormonal changes.

Cortisol: Friend or Foe?
Despite its bad reputation, cortisol—often called the “stress hormone”—actually plays a vital role in keeping you healthy and functioning. Problems arise when cortisol is chronically elevated or completely depleted—not when it’s doing its job properly.

In fact, cortisol is what helps you feel awake and alert in the morning. It helps regulate your energy, keeps inflammation in check, and supports your body’s recovery after stress. After a stressful event, cortisol helps your body return to balance by calming inflammation, replenishing energy stores, and supporting repair processes.
But when your body stays in a constant state of stress, cortisol production can eventually burn out. Instead of having a healthy cortisol rhythm, your levels start to drop—and that’s when you lose cortisol’s protective benefits.

One of the first signs? Waking up tired, even after a full night’s sleep. That vibrant, energized feeling you’re supposed to get in the morning just isn’t there.
Your body is simply too depleted to bounce back the way it once did.

The Cost of Chronic Stress
The fight-or-flight response is meant to be temporary. But in today’s world, many people live in this state constantly—with no chance to rest, recover, or reset.

When this stress becomes chronic, it gradually wears the body down. That’s when we start to see deeper health issues like:
•    Autoimmune conditions
•    Chronic fatigue
•    Neurological disorders
•    Hormonal imbalances
•    Weight gain around the waist (“cortisol belly”)
•    High blood pressure and diabetes
•    And more

Your body isn’t breaking down because it’s weak. It’s breaking down because it’s been stuck in survival mode for too long.

What Can You Do to Calm Your Nervous System?
Everyone has their own way of calming down, but after working with many clients—especially those dealing with chronic fatigue or adrenal fatigue (also known as HPA axis dysregulation)—I’ve noticed some clear patterns in what truly helps reset the nervous system.
One of the quickest, most effective tools: Conscious Breathing.
When you’re stressed and feel your heart racing, that’s your nervous system sounding the alarm. This is the exact moment to pause—just for 2 to 5 minutes—and practice slow, intentional breathing.

Here’s a simple breathing exercise you can try:
•    Inhale through your nose for a count of 4.
•    Exhale through your nose for a count of 8-10. (Your exhale should be at least twice as long as your inhale.)
•    Aim for about 4 to 6 full breaths per minute.
•    If possible, close your eyes and focus solely on your breath.

This simple practice activates your parasympathetic nervous system—the part responsible for rest, repair, and digestion. It can quickly pull your body out of fight-or-flight mode and help prevent your system from becoming overwhelmed.

Daily Habits That Support Recovery

Aside from breathwork, there are small daily habits that can have a powerful impact on calming your nervous system:
•    Morning Stretching: Start your day with some light stretching before reaching for your phone or computer. Even better, try gentle yoga that combines movement with breathing techniques.
•    Nature Time: Spend time in nature every day, even if it’s just a short walk. Whether you’re walking in the park, standing barefoot on the grass, or sitting near the ocean, nature has a profound ability to bring the nervous system back into balance.
•    Prioritise your sleep: make sure you are getting 7 to 8 hours sleep 
These steps may seem simple, but they are highly effective and accessible—especially if you know you’re living under constant stress.